Been a very long time..

Well it's a long time between drinks ... and sadly everything has taken a turn for the worst over the last few months. After my move back to Adelaide the job market here has pretty much dried up and I have found myself now unemployed for 6 months straight . The most frustrating thing is that this unfortunate event looks to continue into the first few months of next year too.

I've thought long and hard about alternatives to finding another chemistry related job and with all things considered I know it just isn't possible at the moment due to circumstances as they stand. Should I go back to uni and study something else? Theoretically I could, the main barrier to that is that to do this I have to forgo any type of life supporting income for the next 3 years. I just don't have the savings to do that now and would put myself under incredible financial (and therefore emotional) strain. So I am going to have to wait out this unemployment rut and hopefully emerge better for it next year. I am currently seeking any type of "part time" or such employment at anywhere I can find. My age, experience and qualifications are proving to be a major hindrance however. After 14 job interviews I keep hearing the same thing over and over "Why did you even apply for this job ?? you're WAY too qualified in Chemistry to be doing this". No one is even willing to take a chance on someone who is obviously desperate to do *anything* so as to be employed. Very Frustrating.

The other sad occurrence is the loss of Rachel as my friend. If you've been following this blog over the time i've been writing it you would know I am very fond of Rachel. Over the last 2 years I had rediscovered the friendship from 17 years ago that we had in high school and we went on to become really good "adult" friends as well. She is/was my best friend for the last few years. Unfortunately, after all the good times and fun we've had together it's gotten to the point where I just couldn't pretend I was happy with what our "relationship" had become. I am currently hopelessly in love with Rachel and unfortunately for me those feelings aren't able to be reciprocated. I am absolutely gutted that my own stupidity has left me with no option but to walk away from the most amazing person I have ever met.

I am currently trying to deal with a bevy of mixed emotions. Sadness, heartbreak, relief and regret are all doing the rounds in my head. The hardest part is always the endless "mulling over" of the details after the fact. The one thing I have learnt however through my adult life is that it's better to "Know why" than to "Assume why" things happen. So thankfully I asked Rachel for her reasons why she doesn't see our relationship ever being more than "Friends" and to her credit she told me. It was really an interesting experience to actually see the other persons side of the story but at the same time devastating to know her reasons. I won't go into details here though, suffice to say that even when you think you know someone very well you can always be surprised. I was most surprised not by the "content" of her reasons but how 2 people can see the same thing totally differently or attribute a deep "cause and effect" analysis to problems whose causes are plain as day.

So now I am trying to cope with life "After Rachel" and I won't lie and say i'm making headway and feeling better. I'm not. I miss her like i'd miss an arm or leg. The biggest shock to me has been just how integrated she'd become into my daily routine (some might say this was entirely the problem) and how hard it is to fill those activities with *Anything* else now. I'm constantly battling the feeling that I have made a horrible, horrible mistake by excluding her from my life, when for so long my life was immeasurably more enjoyable and "full" due solely to her being in it. I'm clinging to the hope that one day, maybe months from now, maybe years from now, we will be able to be friends again. It's just not possible at the moment while I love her the way I do.
Still, I am impressed with my own resolve in that I had the strength to walk away from something that was slowly (but surely) making me miserable. It was harder than losing my Father to cancer, because with death the person is gone and you have no chance to ever have them in your life ever again. That kind of ending I can deal with. Rachel is not dead, she's not going to die any time soon, she's alive and well and living her life and i'm not lucky enough to be involved anymore. THAT type of ending is far worse and much harder to accept.

So Rachel if you're reading this all I want to say is "Thank You", you made my life a joy (most of the time) and I will miss you and your wonderful kids terribly.

Quick catch up...

Well, here we are nearly at the end of August. I'm about to move from Melbourne back to Adelaide. I've lived in Melbourne for the last 5 years and well...lets just say i'm glad to be going. I've had some good times in Melbourne and enjoyed myself on and off. However, ever since 2004 when I moved over here I sort of had the feeling it was a mistake but sadly at that point work dictated where I had to go and the only jobs I could accept were here. I've headed back to Adelaide pretty much every chance I got over the last 5 years as all my family and most of my long term friends are there. I'll miss all the friends I made in Melbourne for sure...but I know i'll be a lot happier in Adelaide.

In the last month I haven't really done a lot except conserve money and ride my bikes and look for a new job in Adelaide. The one exciting highlight of the last month was when I had Rachel and all 4 of her kids stay with me for a week and we *DID* Melbourne. Too much stuff to report on but we packed quite a bit into that week. We went all over Melbourne central, went to the Melbourne Meuseum, Southbank, St. Kilda, Olinda (for Pancakes), Sassafrass (and WORLDS BEST puppet store!!!) and to top it off we also went to Mt. Baw Baw and THE SNOW!!

This was the funniest thing ever too, Sophie F. and the snowball of superlative proportions.

Click picture to play

LOL :)

Let's just say that the whole week was brilliant, I really had a great time myself and I reckon (hope) Rachel and the kids did too.

Tonight I just played my last game of basketball for the team I've been playing with for the last 2 years. We won (some would say "of course" here :P) 28-16 and thus finish the season in 1st place. The guys are all a bit disappointed that I now won't play in the finals due to the move. We'll see how it goes...there may be a hasty return to Melbourne in a few weeks to play in the Grand Final..we'll cross that bridge when we get to it though.

Lot of bridges in view at the moment.

Right now I am in the middle of packing up my house up for the move this weekend and onto lifes next chapter.

Mega-super-action-packed weekend.

So i'm currently into week..um...4 (???) of my "holidays". Not that you can call them holidays, it's more of a "period where I am not doing anything or going anywhere". Sure, I've been in this position numerous times before but these types of "work hiatus" differ due to the fact that on holidays you return to working at some point and get more money coming in.

Having said that I just had a great weekend jetting around the country, out-dinners, exploring, decadent spending and general caution to the wind throwingness :)

On Friday I flew to Adelaide again and packed quite a bit into the 2 days that I was there. I'm not going to mention the flight over....let's just say "It was with Tiger" and you can fill in the blanks. That airline quite simply is disgraceful. I stayed with my brother Craig on Friday night and experienced the wonder of his girlfriends spastic new puppy. Ritalin for dogs in order here...seriously. If you could somehow hook that dog up to a battery and store the energy output it generates .... energy crisis over. We snacked on Indian food for dinner. Awesome. It did however remind me that the Indian place I go to here in Melbourne is quite possibly the BEST Indian in Australia though, I will miss it when i move back to Adelaide. Was good to see my brother again after quite a few months, he seems to be going well with his new career (self employed) and I still find it weird that my "baby brother" is such a grown up :)

On Saturday I met up with my friend Ben (of Ben and Leah's Wedding fame) and we zoomed around Adelaide chatting about "Stuff" and trying to book an audience with my sister. Vicky is moving to Darwin soon and I thought it would be prudent to visit her before she goes as otherwise I probably won't see her again for months. We went to her house (soon to be "My" house :) ) but she wasn't home so a quick call and a plan was devised. Ben and I went out to Glenelg and had lunch (mmmm Glenelg pizza) and met up with my sister at the pub where her going away party was being held. While waiting for her Ben and I watched this group of people who were taking it in turns to stand in front of a camera and talk about "something". there must have been 50 people doing this. It turned out that it was a "Self-help" group that was for helping people with speech disorders (i.e. impediments, stutters, tourettes etc) and allowing them to face the fear of speaking in public to an audience. The most striking thing about this group is that you would not have known that fact just by watching them and listening to them. The coup de grace was the last guy who went before the camera and extolled the virtues of the group and was so glad he had joined and done the hard yards as he said "I otherwise wouldn't have been able to do this..". He then turned to his girlfriend and dropped to a knee, pulled out a ring and asked her to marry him. She was gob-smacked. There must have been 2 or 3 hundred people in the square watching him and the place just erupted into cheers and applause. I think she said "yes" so turned out to be a good day for that guy.

After that my sister arrived and we had a beer and chatted for about an hour before I had to go. Ben dropped me at the train station in Adelaide and I caught the train out to Gawler to go see Rachel and her kids. Much fun was had bike riding upon my arrival and then we decided upon "out dinner" as no-one could be bothered cooking after our collective days. Mine of rushing here and there and Rachels of picking a bazillion olives (+ one cabbage ... apparently). The out dinner routine usually consists of listing off every food possibility and gauging the success of the idea by the amount of scorn and derision thrown at it. The idea with the least scorn and minimal derision which is agreeable to at least 50% of children present is usually the winner. This was not the case on this day. Every child wanted something different from "somewhere" different. We settled on "The Kingsford Hotel" as the mere mention of anywhere else brought howls of disappointment and crying from the youngest child. We ordered a vast selection of food and everyone seemed to be happy. I had a steak (which I rarely have because of the monstrous prices at most restaurants) but it was quite cheap and was very tasty.

Sunday was spent being nerdy :) Working out the exact volumes of oils and height clearances for home projects that Rach had in the works. We even used a tape measure. One highlight was when wondering how to measure without a tape measure I jokingly offered to use my phone "I have a program that does it with lasers" I said. For a split second.... Rachel believed it. Then sanity prevailed :)

Out-lunch again on Sunday and then it was time to trek to the Airport for my fight home. This was sadly marred by a massive expletive laden temper tantrum by a child that will remain anonymous. Arrived at the airport and said goodbye to all and went to board the plane. Weekend in Adelaide over far too quickly again sadly.

Monday saw me driving into Melbourne central to meet up with my Mum who had come over on a tour to see the crows play. We met up at the casino where, surprise, surprise, mum was neck deep in pokies. Winning of course. We went and had lunch at a food court on southbank after "trying" to get served at P.J. Obriens pub....they seemed totally dis-interested in the only 2 customers in the whole place. So we left.

After lunch we decided to go to Greco, home of "Worlds biggest cake Fridge" for a piece of cake and a coffee. However that plan got side tracked when we strayed within visual range of the pokies again. Mum was drawn to them like a moth to flame. She played for nearly 2 hours and won about $25. This was after losing $40, then winning $20, then losing $10, then wining $60, then losing $50, then wining $70 etc etc. I personally don't see the attraction of gambling..

We ended up at Greco's and ordered from the disappointingly small array of cakes on display. I went with the ever popular Mars bar Cheesecake and mum had the Banana Cream Cake.

We then decided that seeing as the day was quite sunny and mildly warm that we would go down to St. Kilda to see the foreshore. So we went and got my car and headed down there. I was expecting the foreshore to be sunny but very windy and we weren't disappointed. There wasn't many people about (except the perennial St. Kilda drug culturalists.) so we sat out of the wind and just watched the waves and chatted some more.

It was already 4pm by this stage and I had to drive home. I dropped mum back at the Casino and headed back out to Ringwood in the peak-hour traffic. Fun.

Overall, a very full 3 days over the weekend and I am again a bit sad that it's over. However, fun is on the horizon...stay tuned.

Global Financial Crisis......sucker punches me.

So on Thursday this week I was made "Redundant" from where I work. Hooray. I'm actually happy about it. I no longer have to do my "job" that I had there which is fine with me. I also managed to stay employed in the one place for 2 years which is now my personal best. The problem with being single, no kids and no mortgage is that it's very easy to discard you when companies need to save a few dollars. I think all I have to say about the matter is that I can't really believe that my skill set couldn't be put to use ANYWHERE else in the company and that the only course of action was to get rid of me entirely. Great work upper management. I'll wait the few weeks until one of my friends there tells me the *real* reason.

As always when you leave somewhere you've worked for a long time you inevitably miss the people you became friends with the most. This is the case here too. I'll miss everyone that I got to know really well over the past 2 years. I will not however miss my job. I think I can safely now say that I have never disliked a job as much as I disliked what i've been "forced" to do in order to stay employed these past 18 months. I had no interest in what I was doing for a long time and especially when any input I gave on my project or work was dissmissed anyway.

So, now I have a 2 month break from working life planned and then i'm moving back to ADELAIDE!! I'm so happy about this and while it is throwing myself to the mercy of the universe some what, I've done it before and come up trumps. I'm the eternal optimist after all.

The most important thing in life for me is to be happy and I am simply not here in Melbourne. So much of my life and the future that I want revolves around Adelaide and it continually seems ludicrous to not be there. So now i have the opportunity to go back and i'm grabbing it with both hands.

So for the next 2 months it's all about enjoying myself and hang the consequences.

The inaugural "Nina Is Sick...but still able to bark out orders!" bike ride 2009.

So this morning I get up and sit at my PC to check the events of the day. When BAM. Not 2 seconds after opening facebook my friend Nina is talking with me on FB chat. She wanted to know exactly WHY I wasn't out riding my bike?

I told her I had just got up and was probably going to go later in the day, after chores and grocery shopping. She was having none of that. Apparently she is bed ridden this weekend with "Swine Flu" or some other even more deadly influenza that is doing the rounds at work (oh..we work together...did I mention that?). Anyway, as I am from South Australia and therefor possess a super-immune system, I rarely even get affected by (or notice) the trivial viruses that Melbourne encounters and which consistently lay the locals out for days. I was instructed that since Nina had been unable to go out on saturday night that she therefor had a "Energy Surplus". I would have to go out and ride the "excess" energy she had not used dancing the night away in order to stop the world exploding or dividing by zero ....or something....I wasn't quite sure why....

But...as if you ever need an excuse to ride a bike, I fortuitously also had some new biking duds which I had to try out too. I needed some "longies" (full length Lycra pants) for riding my bike in winter because it's SO FREAKISHLY COLD IN MELBOURNE. I bought some online during the week and got them yesterday.

So here we go stats for the Inaugural "Nina Is Sick...but still able to bark out orders!" bike ride 2009.

I decided to take my Scotty bike today and "Go Left" when greeted with the first major directional decision which headed up towards the Dandenong hills east of Melbourne. The plan was to beat my time and distance from the last time I went along this trail (on the Stumpy).

The weapon.

As you can see, pretty impressive biking when I reached the halfway, turn around point I had done a respectable 13.44Km with an average speed of 22.1Km/h.

I decided to stop here...

... as any further was heading into mountainous terrain and I had a bike with no shockers. That and my butt already hurt ;)

The new pants were fantastic too. It was only about 12ºC but not windy and not looking like it was going to rain but they kept my legs really warm. These Jaggad Longies are meant for riding in cold weather and have some "special stuff" inside them to act like a wet-suit and keep your legs awesomely warm. They work. 2 thumbs up. Here's a pic (right click --> save as, if you must ladies.....I know I look HOT in these duds. You're only human after all).

Phwoaaaar. Cyclist legs are so raunchy!!

So, after this I hopped back on my Scott weapon and headed back towards home. I was hoping to at least match the time I did getting to the half way point because the majority of the out-bound direction was slightly uphill. Going back was going to allow me to get some ridiculous speeds up on the bike. This was of course assuming there was not an abundence of Sunday walkers, other riders, dogs, cats, monkeys etc blocking the path at regular intervals.

I managed to get some rather impressive 40+km/h speeds up at certain places but these were cruelly "averaged" down by the inevitable appearance of all the stuff I assumed wouldn't hamper me above in the previous paragraph. Assuming is always dangerous....ask anyone...they'll confirm.

So here's the final stats:

As you can see. Stamina and consistency are my trademarks :)

The total ride distance of 26.9 Km (let's just call it 27!) with an average speed again of 22.3 Km/h and a total riding time of 1h:12m:11secs.

Not bad :)

Oh, have I mentioned previously how much this Scott bike ROCKS!!!

As a special treat for the ladies, here's another leg shot. Mmmmmm calf muscles ....

Hope I helped Nina and you feel better soon .