Yesterday I was involved in a conversation that really ruined my day. It's no ones fault and it's not as if the conversation was malicious or deliberately hurtful but ...well .... I didn't really need to hear AGAIN what this person was telling me. What made it worse was that I know they are only trying to be subjective and mostly playing "devils advocate" and that everything they said was in fact true and I know it's true. The short version of this saga is that I find myself in a situation I cannot change and have very little influence over and certain "people" seem to think that because I am in this situation I shouldn't try and make the best out of it because in the short term I can't "win". They have this view that because the outcome will not likely benefit me in any way I should not try too hard or invest any time and effort to achieve anything. All I can say is you have to "pick your battles" I suppose? Is it better to be seen as someone who'll not even try if there is no personal benefit or is it better to be seen as a person who'll at least "participate" and "contribute" even if ultimately they'll not get any recognition in the short term or any thanks or any personal benefit? Anyway, this conversation was stuck in my head for the remainder of the evening and I couldn't get it out. I kept mulling over it, over and over and over again....which is really not a good thing to do when nothing I can do is going to change anything. I had basketball training with the kids last night and a few of them commented that I seemed a bit "sad", well that was a bit of a wake up call. I usually don't worry about much, especially things that I have no control or influence over but obviously this is affecting me more than I thought. The team manager (Kellie) also asked me if I was alright as usually we talk quite a bit at trainings and the actual games, I've also discussed this situation with her before and she's probably given me the best advice on the subject. Her take was 'No one can tell you what is important to you. That is the beauty of the individual and just remember people aren't judged only on their actions in the good times".
Needless to say I had a really crappy evening when I returned home from basketball. I had organised to get my washing machine looked at on Thursday due to it recently leaking like it belongs at Rachels house ( :P ). Tonight however it decided it would make the most of the repairman's visit and flood my kitchen. Fucking FANTASTIC. To top it off, the skirting around the walls in my "Laundry" weren't ever sealed when the house was renovated and all the wood has swollen and buckled and come away from the gyprock.... plus it's now water logged and mouldy. I'm hoping I can kick up a real shit-storm over this because the last time the house got flooded I pleaded with the owner to install a DRAIN in the laundry so this couldn't happen. They of course said they didn't see it as "nessicary" and didn't want to do it....well, come and look at your wall now you cheapskate bastards and tell me it wasn't "nessicary"!!
I'm pretty sure that I won't be getting my bond back now when/if I leave.
I dealt with that minor disaster as best I could and then tried to relax with some soothing Scrabby. Earlier in the day I had the good fortune to unleash a bingo tsunami on my opponent. I got 3 separate REAL words as bingos in different games and was in a pretty commanding position. So much so that a bit of SMS gloating was in order....... which true to form had little effect on my opponents moral. I opened up game after game to see that I wasn't really "winning" any of them. Most of them were still quite close ... was I really losing so badly before all the bingos that they simply brought me back into contention?? I went to bed and simply couldn't sleep. The day had been such a shocker that as soon as I tried to shut down my brain it simply started mulling over everything that had gone on. I slept in bursts of about 1hr at a time and eventually woke up at 4am (what is with that???) and couldn't get back to sleep. BRILLIANT start to the day. When I got to work this morning I then had one of my colleagues inform me that the left brake lights on my car don't work ...AAAarrrRrggHHH!!! If there's one thing I don't need it's things on my car breaking. Not that I can't fix it... one of my pet psychological hates is people who don't appreciate their cars (maybe it's just because mine is worth so much??) and I just HATE seeing other peoples cars with faulty lights or unrepaired damage etc. and always think "Fix it you TOSSER!!!" ... now I am currently the TOSSER (note: Rachel you are exempted from this generalisation). Also, troubleshooting tail light problems is nearly impossible by yourself as you can't press the brakes AND look at the lights at the same time, not without backing the car into the bathroom to utilise the mirror in there....BAH. Note To Self: Do it at night...in the garage...with the roller door down...look for lights on both sides of the car. Now, just checked the data I have had running overnight on the GC...and there is a contamination in all of it. I cleaned and replaced EVERYTHING in the GC over the last few days but this crap is STILL there and it's getting WORSE!!!!!! Anyone with any idea of where it's coming from let me know because I am at a loss to explain it. I have basketball tonight too, it's an early game..which is good I suppose and it's against the bottom team, but the way things are going today...I bet we lose. Something pretty damn terrific better happen today because I think I need some one to make ME laugh for once.