Thursday, July 10, 2008

Definitly Michael on TOP week .

I've been having a pretty good week this week. I am absolutely kicking ass in Scrabby and my poor competition is usually languishing 70+ points of the pace subdued with consecutive bingo assaults and masterful use (and misuse) of red 3x squares. Things have definitely been in my favour. Last night after a particularly brutal scrabby pantsing delivered to Rachel I had to actually leave the intarwebz to go and play Basketball with the mighty SGE Injectors.
Now this week we had the god awful start time on 10pm and that is, first and foremost, just ridiculous. It was a chilly 2°C when I left the house....in a mad rush...because the Scrabby was in full swing and when I glanced at the clock I saw that it was 15 mins till game time!!! I'd left my preparation very late and after the worlds 2nd quickest strip I donned the basketball gear, and several easily discarded "Sportswear" layers (including trackies ... THAT is how cold it was). I grabbed the water bottle and filled it, grabbed a sport towel and threw a few rows of Chocolate in my gob and locked up the mansion. I jumped in the Pug and cranked the climate control to 23°C didn't bother playing any "Motivational" death metal on the stereo and headed off into the night. I drove the 3 mins to the venue arriving with 5 mins until game time. See, still on top!!!

So we start warming up because, for the second time that week it has been so cold that I am hobbling around with a lump in the small of my back due to penile inversion. Unfortunately, the remedy that worked brilliantly in "getting the blood flowing" the previous night was not going to be an option in a basketball venue tonight :). So I started doing some lay-ups and stretching out the muscles to avoid any unwanted injuries. Despite my Adonis like appearance, my body isn't actually 21 years old any more :(

Then I noticed a BIG problem..............

I still had my glasses on!!!!! and Not my "I don't care if these break" sport strapped, crappy glasses that I "usually" wear while playing Basketball. But my $800 "designer" frames with super-duper "Hey come look at the sub-atomic particles!!" glasses that would have lasted about 2 secs on the Basketball court before flying off my head and smashing into 4 million pieces on the floor. There was nothing for it .... I had to try and play SANS glasses !!!!

So I take off my glasses and start squinting around the sports hall trying to find something to focus on that I can actually see. Now, I should state that without glasses I can pretty much see nothing up close to me so I really thought I'd struggle in a game of Basketball where every thing happens within about a 5m radius. So Glenn passes me a ball...which I managed to catch (Good start) and I look at one of 3 or 4 "baskets" that I can see on the backboard at our end of the court and throw a shot up. It goes in o_O.

I walk over to the 3 point line and casually line up a 3-point bomb.......shoot....THAT goes in????
I try again..THAT goes in too!!!

DEFINITELY Michael on top WEEK!!!!

So with new found confidence and a feeling of absolute super-human ability the SGE injectors stride out onto the court to start the game. I was the tallest guy on the court for our team so I would take the jump ball. Noted almost straight away that there was a new incredibly HOT female umpire adjudicating tonight. She was all dressed in Lycra leggings and stuff...pressure eased off the small of my back somewhat. She tosses up the ball and my sporty frame springs to life into a vertical, puma like jump way above my aged opponent and the ball was OURS!!! My tap went straight to Steve who, unopposed, layed it up for an easy 2 points and an excellent start. We cruised out to a 10 - 0 lead in a mater of minutes.


Rather than bore you all with a blow-by-blow account of our basket balling brilliance I'll just tell you that we absolutely destroyed this other team. We ended up wining 27-13 but the story of my firm strangle hold of "On Top" does not end there...oh no...there is more...


From previous blog entries you may remember that I have the worst "Free Throw" record from the foul line in our team...I'm almost guaranteed to miss them every time. This is bad, because I usually can attract a lot of fouls while shooting and get put on the foul shot line quite regularly. Tonight I had the added disability of not being able to see !! It had all the ingredients for a disastrous (and possibly embarrassing...as I could end up facing 90° to the basket , squinting, yet lining up a shot at the side wall) turn of events. However, THIS was "Michael on TOP week!!" and I got sent to the foul line twice during the game .....

When you have 2 shots from the foul line after being fouled the "Scorer" draws a little square box in your score line next to your name. If your first shot from the foul line goes in they cross one diagonal of the box. If your second shot also goes in you get a full cross through the box. As I said I got sent to the foul line twice ... here's the score sheet.

I'm so awesome :)

*notice the complete "Lack" of awesome from the other, full sighted players on our team? Couldn't hit the side of a barn most of them :P

I'll have to forget my Glasses next week too

and the best part is that the weeks not over yet....that means still more chances for Michael to be ON TOP!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You still can't rebound for shit though!